People are exhausting, their company drains me. Having to adjust, to answer, to smile, to talk, those are things I don’t always want to do. Yet, I also enjoy being with people, listen to them, talk to them, eat and drink with them, kiss them. But not all the time. It’s a dilemma. I’m probably lucky that I don’t have to work anymore. It’s a blessing and a curse. Like almost everything in life.
I’m shy but also daring. I love to tease and provoke. But I love aloneness too, sitting there in my big old house, driving around aimlessly, singing and dancing alone… That’s when I feel the most alive.
Feeling and thinking, on my own, by myself. I do get lonely sometimes, no one said it would be easy.
But at least, loneliness is pure
Needing people yet being afraid of them is wearing me out
Janice Galloway