Heaven & Hell

I spent the weekend with a friend. We went to a beautiful nature reserve and took a long walk in the sun, by the river. Getting lost in the woods. I love getting lost, in my thoughts too. But I often go astray and can’t find my way back.

Nature is both heaven and hell to me. The warmth of the sun, the birds singing, the beauty of the flowers and trees, the stars at night… and all this decay, rotting animals along the roads, the smell of the autumn leaves, the cold winters, the nocturnal silent blackness, this barren isolation…

It has awoken so many things inside me but it also fuels my despair and anxiety.
I am freezing and burning at the same time, my feet in Heaven, my head in Hell

Should I stay or should I go?

The Clash

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